i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
That reminds me...we need to get swords
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
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You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
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As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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