I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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