Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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