Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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