I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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