It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
