All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
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It's official drugs can't kill me
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
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I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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