Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
