Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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