I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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