the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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