so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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