I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I will be naked everywhere
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Hello my rib-scented angel!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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