Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
