i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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