oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
