): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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