i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
