You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
