unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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