yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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