bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
