That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Randomize
