If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It's never too late to be topless.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
