i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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