I got chris browned last night
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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