put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
