i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We named our party play list daddy issues
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
