Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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