This is not my ceiling
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
