guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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