i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
