He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
