Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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