he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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