She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
