we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
