It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
