when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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