I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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