YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize