Your dad touched me again.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
