My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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