you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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