: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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