at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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