it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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