it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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