I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
