i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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