it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
