erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
