Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
please don't ironically join a cult
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