Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
