ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
