remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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