Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
