I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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