Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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