Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
