my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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