She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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