I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
