he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize